flash before my eyes.

It is amazing how fast babies grow to be wobblers to toddlers to the terrible two's and beyond. It is like a flash before my eyes. I remember, like it was yesterday or maybe the day before, waking to find my water broken and thinking, well I guess I am not working today. I remember rushing to remember all that i needed or wanted for the hospital and frantically trying to get ahold of daddy. Then to end the day with a 6lb 3 oz baby named Evelyn Marie Nelson Liberato, such a  large name for an itty bitty thing, in my arms.
I made it a goal to be able to stay home with her, to provide her with experiences that would assist her through all the stages of childhood.
I homeschool her for now, she is 2 1/2, preparing her for preschool outside of my care. I want to socialize her and make her comfortable and secure when I need to leave.
We have started going to the PlayLand in Fred Meyers almost every weekend. Not for me to shop without her bugging me, she does really well, but because she asked and begged to go there and I know it will help her when it comes to her attending preschool and beyond.
We also try take an adventure to the playground in the Beaverton mall, or so it used to be named, to play around other children.
And then you ask, she doesn't get to play with other kids? well, yes she does but in her comfortable home setting, which is great, but she needs to be open and comfortable to playing with other kids in different environments.
Going through all this preparing and loving and teaching it has made me realize that she is no longer a baby anymore but a little lady. I become sad that she is growing so fast thought I have been here nearly every moment.
All of this makes me long for another baby, and yes, another baby is in the plans it doesn't feel soon enough. I long to be pregnant and it becomes very difficult handling those feelings and then to find so many friends are either just finding out they are pregnant or have been pregnant for a little while.
I know it will all happen in time, the right time for us. Believe in god or mature, fate or just our choices. I t will come at it's own pace. Knowing that does not make me feel better at this moment but it is known.
So on I go again, another day with my baby and other children and I hope to not feel that emptiness. I hope that I can enjoy every moment.